Busy Yet Bored

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I’m so sorry I haven’t been posting every Tuesday. 

Summer is surprisingly busy!

My family got a new puppy… She’s a lab mix. Also, she doesn’t get along with my other dog very well yet. We’re training them both (neither has had very much exposure to other dogs-well obviously the puppy hasn’t, but…) and they’re getting better!

Also, I’ve got a date! There’s this really awesome girl who’s technically non binary, but does not prefer one pronoun set over the other at the moment, and I asked her out. 

She’s a grade below me and we don’t know each other super well, but we just finished a week long day camp about forensics. We had fun. 

So that’s coming up. My life is SUPER boring these days… Busy, but like, with boring life stuff. Anyway, I have some interesting stuff coming up, so I should be posting more in the near future. 

ALSO, like or comment if you think Keemit should stay on the blog! He’s a valuable member and could use your support. Even a simple like will help! 

Love you all! 😘

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I’m So Very Wrong

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Why can’t I feel anything anymore? 

My heart has gone so very cold… 

Don’t leave me here all lonely, 

Please don’t leave me. 

It all hurts so very much, 

But that burn is slowly dying, 

And all that’s left is a… 

Big… 

Numb… 

… 

Hole… 

Why doesn’t this make any sense? 

Shouldn’t I be burning? 

Rage induced and flaming tears? 

Why can’t I cry? 

That was all I had left. 

And now I have nothing. 

Rainy Nights

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Here’s a little picture 

I’m painting in your head. 

A pretty little peach tree 

and a book beside a bed. 

A candle on the table, 

and little flickering flames, 

lighting up the window,

showing tiny drops of rain. 

When suddenly, from up above, 

lightening strikes and thunder thuds! 

And crashing goes the little tree, 

to slip and slide in puddled mud. 

You watch closely through the door, 

as rain pounds harder, harder still; 

and then you huddle up in bed, 

to watch it on the window sill. 

Was the rain as nice to you? 

Did it wash away the pain? 

Did it burn away the hurt, 

and leave only what you have to gain? 

Did you scream and then give up? 

Cause suddenly it’s not so bad… 

No burning from a loud, loud sun, 

just a tan and no more sad? 

Calming, is the rain for me, 

even when the thunder thumps. 

Even when the lightning strikes,  

it only smooths the little bumps. 

Living a Pixelated Life

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Living a pixelated life,

not everything is clear.

I’m looking, searching, scrying

for deeper meaning.

Anything but the usual ‘queer’.

Soon I’ll be free

from this four-sided trap.

I’m scratching, pushing, pulling

just to get out.

I’m fed up and done with this crap.

Where is he that I’ll hold in my arms?

I want to unhook my brain

from these tube-fed farms.

One day the worlds will collide.

Pixel meets organic

and I’ll be me

with pride.

No Doubt

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I have no doubt in my mind, 

That there will come a time when I am free. 

Free of all these shameful worries, 

Of that little voice that’s holding me back. 

I have no doubt that one day I will be okay. 

But for now I’ll just keep going on like this… 

Just passing through my life, 

Like I’m not quite fit, 

Like I’m not quite right for it, 

Like it’s not quite mine yet. 

I have no doubt it will be soon, 

But for now I’ll just keep on like this. 

And hope that soon is sooner than I think. 

Sounds

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The sounds

All around,

screaming in my head.

The creaking of my bed,

the pounding of false feet up above.

The screech of crows and doves.

Everywhere,

everyday,

never going away.

I love them.

I like it loud,

and obnoxious.

I can’t stand silence,

it is worse than violence.

Do you get what I’m saying,

I am praying.

Praying for the sounds to stay.